"47 Meters Down" (2017): Stay Out of the Water? More like Stay Out of the Theatre.

You know that it's summertime in cinemas when the sharks start to come out. Along with the 52nd installment of the Transformers franchise that nobody asked for. But I digress, I'm here to talk about fishy fare 47 Meters Down.

Mandy Moore and Claire Holt play sisters on holiday in Mexico. Needing more excitement in their lives, the pair are convinced by some locals to go cage diving with great whites. Things quickly spiral out of control when something goes wrong and they descend 47 meters down, trapped in the cage with limited air and surrounded by vicious sharks.

Originally intended about a year ago to be a direct to video flick, the studio held onto it for a wide summer theatrical release. I didn't find out until afterwards and it feels important to know when adjusting your expectations for this film.

The writing is pretty atrocious, zigging and zagging in all the wrong places. The dialogue is clunky. While there were attempts to flesh out the two main characters the results were underdeveloped and two-dimensional. I felt no emotional connection to the pair, which hampered my ability to properly be scared for them. When you don't care if the protagonists live or die the stakes are lowered to zero. This isn't a horror movie with padded body count full of disposable teens, you have two characters and can't afford to not be invested in them.

Visually, you spend half the movie looking into dark soupy water. There are a few shots here and there that are nice. Most of them are in the trailer though.

They use flares to scare off sharks. Because sharks aren't attracted to the light or movement.

The idea of a shark movie taking place underwater is uniquely appealing as it puts humans out of their element and into the shark's territory. However, it wears thin very quickly because once they're down there there's not much else for them to do. And a shark attack movie, well made or not, has to at the very least be exciting. I want to shovel popcorn into my mouth and feel thrilled. 47 Meters Down suffers the cardinal sin of being a boring shark attack movie.

There's a twist ending that I won't spoil. But I will say that it is definitely polarizing to audiences. I fall on the side that found it to be kind of stupid. It's a groan worthy fake-out.

If I'm extra hard on this flick it's because I love shark movies. I thought the trailer looked good and the concept was worthwhile. It just fell flat to my expectations. But also PG-13 horror films are lame cash-grabs just looking to cast the widest net for the largest possible audience.

Since the mid-70s people have been trying desperately to recreate the blockbuster magic that is Steven Spielberg's Jaws. Often filmmakers look to the spectacle of the third act, trying to emulate the final bout against the mechanical shark. But what they fail to replicate is the well developed and memorable characters of Brody, Quint, and Hooper. They lack the proper pacing that ramps up the suspense, leading to a satisfying climax. It continues to be a problem in the shark attack subgenre of horror.

Maybe someone will get it right next summer.